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The Sea

A forward by Ranja:

The Sea, by Junior School Children

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age
6).

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6).

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7).

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie, age 6).

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy,
aged 8).

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs.(Millie, age 6).

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off
eating beans. (William, age 7).

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen, age 6).

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my
Big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy,
age 6).

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where
I ink they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7).

11) When you go swimming in the sea it is very cold and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin, age 6).

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky,
Age 8).

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going
very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot
Up her fanny. (Julie, age 7).


by Banksy

Thank You, Ranja... i now feel enlightened

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