Every life consists of many deaths and rebirths- some of them are choices, others are conditions.
The death of the child- often killed and relegated to fond memory, making way for a more practical evolution. Learn to suffocate that child, put it in a coffin and carry its weight on your back. Its ghost will haunt you for the rest of this life, but don't worry- you will die too, and it will return. And then, you may find yourself happy.